PAKBET: DULANG MAY ISANG YUGTO (ILOCANO/TAGALOG/ENGLISH)

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This script is a personal property of JAYSON ARVENE TABANGIN MONDRAGON. Please contact the author for permission to use this script. There is NO FEE for its usage but please do inform the author before using it as a matter of respect. Thank you and happy reading.

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Manang Elena is in the kitchen preparing to cook, a cellphone on one ear – Mid Morning.

ELENA

Kasangsangpet mi laeng idi naminsan a dominggo. Adda pay la ti dyit lag ko ngarud.

Ayna, ket napintas latta a! Op kors! Stitsayd amin!

Ay ata ti madik ammo. Awan pay met imbaga ni Amalia.

Madiklang ammo nu mabigbigyu pay.

Op kors! Tumawagak ulit madamdama ta aglutoak pay.

Manang Elena puts the phone down and turs the radio on. The radio plays in the middle of Justien Bieber’s “Baby”.

RADIO(RECORDED)

Are we an item? Girl quit playin’

“We’re just friends,” what are you sayin’?

Said “there’s another,” and looked right in my eyes

My first love broke my heart for the first time

 

ELENA

Tawas layk bebi bebi bebi oil!

Layk bebi bebi bebi joy!

Layk bebi bebi bebi, oil!

Toothpaste kalamay, may

Johnny walks in while Manang Elena is still singing.

JOHNNY

Good morning! I didn’t know you were a Bieber fan!

ELENA

Op kors! Tinulad ko pay garud iti pukis na.

Naglaing nga ubing, napintas pay!

JOHNNY

Na-pen-tas? Doesn’t that mean beautiful?

ELENA

Yes! Beyutipul! Marbelus! Ekstrabagan!

Nagrugi ka manen eh. Maibusanak inglish kinyam.

JOHNNY

But he’s not a girl.

ELENA

Asino? Ni Christine Biber? Nagpintas man garud a bakla!

JOHNNY

Manang, he’s not gay.

ELENA

Aya! Kunak man lang nu babai. Babai met gamin ti boses na.

JOHNNY

Anyway, what are you cooking?

ELENA

Pakbet! Yor Peyborit! Tinapa ilaok ko tatno naim-imas! Utentik Ilokano pakbet!

JOHNNY

Wow! I haven’t had that for a long time! Oh, have you seen Amalia?

ELENA

Nasapa nga rumwar. Hoy Junie, agilokano ka man!

Ingakarkarigatan ka nga sinursurwan bago tayu nagawid.

Addattoy tayo Pilipinasen ket pagdaringungnguwennak pay lang.

JOHNNY

Hey! Make-awetek met. I just can’t speak yet so give me some slack.

ELENA

Takkim!

Amalia enters with a plastered smile on her face. Johnny would be watching her.

 

AMALIA

What the hell is that dreadful smell?

ELENA
Bagguong! Nagbanglo ana?! Awan lang nabirukak nga mangga.

AMALIA

Good grief! Take it away!

ELENA

Ayna! Ket inya ngay ilaok ko  jay pakbet kuma? Ajay pantik?

AMALIA

Shut up! Nakarating kana ng Amerika, bariotic ka pa din.

ELENA

Ni! Mayat man! Sika man laeng ti ammok nga agbugbugkaw nga nakaisem.

Johnny approaches Amalia and studies her face.

JOHNNY

What happened to your face? Why isn’t it moving?

AMALIA

Botox! I’m not supposed to move my face for the next hour.

ELENA

Anya kunam? Nagbastos ka man! Inya nga but—

JOHNNY

(To Manang Elena)

It’s not what you are thinking!

(To Amalia)

And you! What were you thinking?

AMALIA

What?

ELENA

Inya kanu napanunot mo.

AMALIA

I understood what he was saying!

ELENA

Ibagbagak lang.

JOHNNY

What the freaking hell is wrong with you?

God! You had your nose changed, your skin bleached, you had your chin chopped. Even your hair is blond!

ELENA

Pati sisasangum, apan mo pinadakkel.

AMALIA

Stay out of this Elena!

JOHNNY

Don’t shout at her! She’s just stating the obvious!

For heaven’s sake, Amalia! We’ve only been married for two years and you’ve changed into, THIS!

AMALIA

What’s wrong with THIS? It’s not like its ugly.

ELENA

Agpaysu met kitdi ah.

AMALIA

See? Even Elena agrees!

ELENA

Pummintas, summeksi, pummudaw. Iti datinga pang-arubayan lang nga rupa, mabalinen nga pang pelikula, ngem bomba! Kasukat ni Rossana!

JOHNNY

Oh, shut up Elena!

AMALIA

Don’t shout at her!

JOHNNY

I’m not shouting at her!

GOD!

Who are you?

ELENA

Ayna, agin-innagaw da pay itilinya. Go on! Mek may dey!

Johnny goes to one corner, not wanting to look at Amalia. Amalia follows but Johnny ignores her.

AMALIA

Oh come on!

JOHNNY

Give me back my wife!

AMALIA

I am your wife…

ELENA

And I’m the maid!

AMALIA

Shut up Elena!

JOHNNY

(To Amalia)

You shut up!

You know what? Do what you want to do.

AMALIA

What the hell is your problem? I’m just enhancing what I have! I’m doing all these for you!

JOHNNY

You call that enhancing? It’s an overhaul! I don’t even recognize you anymore.

For crying out loud, we’re already arguing and you can’t even move your face!

ELENA

Ay wen ana?! Mayat man! Kasla manikin laeng.

AMALIA

Shut up Elena!

JOHNNY

Don’t shout at her!

And don’t tell me that you’re doing this for me.

Because all THESE, is far from what I want!

ELENA

Tattaydak pay lang a bugbugkawan! Sullatak tarong dagita ngiwatyo eh.

AMALIA and JOHNNY

Shut up Elena!

ELENA

Ay, aglutluto aka gayam. Sige, agpinnatay kayo lattan. See ip ay keyr!

Amalia and Johnny settle’s down a little while Elena continues on cooking.

JOHNNY

Why are you doing this?

NO! Don’t even answer that…

AMALIA

Johnny…

JOHNNY

I’m going out.

ELENA

Oy! Palpasenyu pay panagtungtungyo. Papanamkuma?

JOHNNY

I’m going to look for my wife.

ELENA

Anya?

AMALIA

Johnny…

Johnny walks out leaving Elena and Amalia. Amalia just looks towards where Johnny went.

AMALIA

I haven’t done anything wrong.

ELENA

Isu ah, nu mamatika.

AMALIA

And what do you mean by that?

ELENA

Agsardeng ka man kai-inglismo Amalia! Awan dagijay imported nga manugang mo ditoyen!

Diyak tupay ammu nu apay sursurutem launay amin nga ibagana ajay a babai.

AMALIA

I’m just trying to be a good daughter in law.

ELENA

You shut up! Oy, Inglis ajay!

Duter in lu, duter in lu ka dita. Tanga kunam ah!

Apay? Nagbaliw kadi ti aramid na kinyam idi sinurot mo amin nga imbagana?

Pummudaw kan, pati agong mo naipaaramid mon. Kurang laengen ket mapan ka agpabinnat tatno tumayag ka pay ngem awan met latta. Adda nagbaliw aya? Kimmaru pay ngata iti panang-ut-utona kinyam.

AMALIA

Inya kuma kaya’t mo nga aramidek? Sungbatak?

ELENA

Tungpatungpaem ah! Ni apay?! Sumubsubran!

Aguray lang, imbag ta ammum pay gayam iti agilukano.

AMALIA

Inang latta ni Johnny ajay.

ELENA

Isungarud! Inang LANG ni Johnny ajay. Apay? Isu’t pinakasaram aya?

AMALIA

Idi pinakasarak isuna, pinakasarak pati pamilyana.

ELENA

Di inka kaiddaen pati isuda!

Nagrigat ka nga palpalawagan!

AMALIA

Elena!

ELENA

Amalia!

AMALIA

Elena!!!

ELENA

Ay apu! Bummaketan ka nga awan utek na!

Diyak tupay ammu nu anya ta ar-aramidem.

Apay? Madika la sumgaren nga nu sumangoka ti sarming ket sabali nga rupa iti makitkitam?

AMALIA

Apayya kuma? Napintasak met ah!

ELENA

Ayna! Napintas a ngatalaga nu pintaslangitipagtutungtungan.

Ketsika ah nu kayat mo nga pagkaraing jay asawam maysa nga aldaw ket tungpaen naka lattan ta madi naka mabigbigen.

AMALIA

Sobraka met!

ELENA

Ayna, sikan tupay, madim mabigbig ta rupam.Ni lakay mun tupay ngata?

Sige, ipilit mo amin nga kaya’t mo.

Lipatem amin nga kinayat na kinyam ni lakay mo.

Lipatem nu siasinnoka.Kitantantu latta ah nu madi naka nga ibati.

Uray nu kasano iti kinapintas mo, ajay latta balasang a kasla nadalisan iti pison iti biruken ni lakay mo.

AMALIA

Haanka met a kasta ah!

ELENA

Ibagbagaklangitiagpaypayso.

Johnny comes back.

ELENA

Oy, pogi! Nabirukam?

JOHNNY

No…

Elena looks at the two of them.

ELENA

Agsublin tulatta ajay.Urayem lattan.

AMALIA

Intaman garud ramanan ta pakbet mo.

*END*

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